Growing up, there were a lot of negative things that I was introduced to. At the time, I didn’t realize just how bad things were, and how they would affect me later on in my life.
It was just my life.
I have stories of good times turning hellish, of bullying and being forgotten, of sexual assaults, domestic violence, and thoughts of suicide.
Seeing it spelled out like that, in a sentence, I now understand what my counselor means when she says I am a survivor.
When she first said it, I laughed and honestly felt confused. There are people who have experienced worse than me. THEY are survivors. This, was just my life. I didn’t know anything different.
I said that I wanted to be real, that I wanted to talk about things that were really on my mind. I haven’t been. I think it was because I was afraid of the impact it would have on people around me. I am afraid of judgement. At the same time, I am tired of not speaking my truth, my feelings, because I am putting other people first.
I matter too.
It’s about time I thought that. So, let’s get real.