I’ll admit, it was wrong of me to leave you guys hanging after that last post. It came off extremely sad, and I appreciate the concern a few of you expressed.
It was a sad post. I can understand your worries.
When I sat down and put those words into my computer, that was exactly what I was feeling. Like I couldn’t breathe. Like I was lost. Like I couldn’t find my grounding.
It was a hard week. At the moment it felt like nothing was going right. I was having issues with scheduling for work and daycare, my son has been acting out with his daycare provider (possibly from the lack of attention he is getting at home), I’m overly tired because I feel like I have to be super woman. I have to be the hard worker, the provider, meet my sons emotional needs, and take care of both of us.
It just feels like I need more hands. More time in the day.
So last week I broke down. I cried. I panicked. I lost sleep because of stress.
All the mistakes I made, all the little things that went wrong just felt monumental.
Bigger than what they were.
I was being beat, and I had no idea how to get up.
Or, per my previous post, I was drowning, and wanted someone to save me.
In the end, I saved myself.
That’s how it has to be. Because I am alone in most aspects of my life. I have to be a superhero not only for my son, but for myself as well. And for a few days, I forgot that.
But, there is strength in my weakness and my pain. I show it by fighting, and getting back up.