I don’t care who you are, or what your story is… Parent guilt is a real thing.
I am guilty of letting my son eat popcorn for breakfast because I was mentally and physically exhausted. I could’t pull myself out of bed at 7am and prepare his usual first meal of the day.
On a fast day, it’s usually fruit and yogurt, maybe a bagel. Some days, it’s cereal (but he’s not the biggest fan). If I’m feeling really up to its pancakes, bacon, sausage, eggs, omelets etc. But a day like that day, I couldn’t even keep my eyes open.
We had made popcorn the night before and we didn’t finish it. So, when I wasn’t getting up like I usually do, he asked if he could have it. I let him. It was enough to hold him over for an hour or so, just so I could sleep.
Even though he did eventually get a bagel and bananas, I still felt guilty.
Let me share my list:
- I yell at my son when I feel over stimulated, and hes full of energy. I send him to his room, so I feel like I can breathe. I just want to have a calm moment to myself.
- I am short tempered and quiet when I’m tired. I tend to keep to myself those days, and hes attached to the TV or his tablet.
- We stay in the house on the weekends because I am not a very social person.
- When we’re running errands, he’ll miss a snack or eat lunch/Dinner late. And hes vocal about being hungry or thirsty.
- We are out and about and I forgot his jacket.
- When I don’t play with him every time he asks.
- When he’s too tired and doesn’t want to get up and get ready for the day, but I force him too.
- When I leave him at daycare for ten hours and he tells me he missed me today.
- When I don’t have the money to get him what he wants or take him places.
- When I decided to end the relationship with his father.
My list goes on.
The only thing I can say is this; It’s not terrible to need time to yourself sometimes. If you snap, apologize before the day is over. Explain your feelings to them, so they can understand. Set an example that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed, and it’s okay to communicate your feelings.
“I’m sorry I yelled at you. Mom just needs some quiet time. Mom was just tired today. Tomorrow will be a better day. Your dad loves you. Mom has to do this so I can take care of you.”
As parents we make mistakes. Apologize. Explain. Do better next time.
What was your guilty moment? Share, I’m sure we all can relate one way or another.